One of my Twitter friends has "Yes" days when she just agrees with everything. I'm having an "It's all my fault" week because no one in my offline life is taking responsibility for anything. I just can't fight it.
What am I taking the blame for?
- It's my fault your kid won't do homework, stay awake in class, or pick up a pencil.
- It's my fault my coworker isn't following school rules.
- It's my fault your home internet went down when your kid waited until the last minute to do the online assignment I made three weeks ago.
- It's my fault it's cold outside.
- If you believe in global warming, it's all my fault.
- If you don't believe in global warming, then the entire liberal media hoax is all my fault.
- It's my fault your favorite team in whatever sport lost.
- It's my fault MTV is no longer about music.
- It's my fault you wasted money on that horrible movie that I've never even heard of.
- It's my fault your favorite t.v. show got canceled.
- Whatever your medical condition is, it's my fault. Sorry about that ingrown toenail you got.
- The Lincoln assassination? I obviously hadn't been born yet, but it's still my fault.
- The astronomical prince of ___________. Just fill in the blank. It's all my fault.
- Your parents never bought you that specific thing for Christmas? Yep, blame it on me.
- Anything that has ever gone wrong anywhere . . . It's all my fault.