Am I the only person offended by this ad? Plus, We Didn't Start the Fire

We all know that I love a good alpha hero.  That doesn't mean that I want all men to fit the G.I. Joe or He-Man stereotype. Wouldn't this world be a boring place if they all did? Yes, certain alphas make me all tingly.  But that doesn't mean that as a female I can't be strong or take care of myself.   It doesn't mean that poor little ole womanly me has to sit idly by and watch the world crumble because I'm waiting for some big, macho Rambo-type to come in, change my flat tire, and fix all my problems for me. I'm not saying that men aren't needed.  Of course they are.  All types of people are needed to make up the bits and pieces in the patchwork of our lives.

I'll be the first person to point out that we need a return to common manners and kindness; however, I'll add that both men and women share responsibility for the decline of polite behavior in our society.  That's not a gender issue. Every able person should be helping the elderly cross the street.  I think any person who goes to the door first should wait and keep it open for the person following.  That's just the polite thing to do.  While world leaders have been predominately male throughout history, I don't think we can blame all of society's ills on that one gender just like we can't place blame solely on one ethnicity or one country.

I resent the ad's implication that androgeny and a genderless society has caused or perpetuated the world's problems.  We'd probably have fewer problems if we didn't make delineations between genders such a huge issue. Yes, we do need heroes.  We've always needed heroes from the time Moses led his people from the desert to Joan of Arc to the Lucretia Mott leading the women's suffrage movement to Nelson Mandela fighting Apartheid.  I don't care if those heroes are male, female, or genderqueer.  I don't give a flying flip if my hero is wearing a skirt/pants or eyeliner/guyliner.  Those things don't have anything to do with common decency or doing the right thing.  Gender, salad bars, and the pants you wear or don't wear have nothing to do with complacency either figuratively or literally.  Guys out there don't need to be worried about answering "the call of manhood."  Every person should be answering "the call of humanity."

I know that rant rambled a bit, but I think you've probably gotten my point.

The folks at Dockers should think back to 1989 when Billy Joel had this message for us all:

Billy Joel - We Didn't Start The Fire

The Queen's Meme #16

This meme is called
You Are On Your Way

1. You are at a party in a very bad mood. There is an obnoxious guest with a camera snapping pictures of everyone in sight. Do you allow the photographs or ask them to stop?  I ask him to stop, but I ask nicely.  I don't like seeing pictures of myself even when I'm in a good mood.

2. You are shopping and watch the lady beside you at the jewelry counter slip an expensive diamond ring in her purse. What do you do? I discreetly tell a salesperson what I saw. When people steal, it punishes those of us who are honest because the store owners end up raising prices in order to recoup their losses.

3. You are on your way to a black tie affair and running late. You are the guest speaker at this event and everyone is waiting for you. A police officer pulls you over for speeding. Do you make up a story or tell him where you are going and try to talk your way out of the citation? Tell us your excuse.  I tell him the truth.  I'd surely be found out if I tried to lie.  Now, I might beg and plead for him to show me some lenience, but in the end, if I were speeding, then I broke the law.  I'd have to accept that and the consequences.

4. You are on your way downstairs on Christmas morning to see what Santa Claus left. There are no gifts under the tree. He leaves a note that reads, "You've been VERY naughty this year." What did you do??!  Hmm, what did I do?  Well, I guess I've lost my temper a time or two; I know I've been impatient.  There have been times when I probably wasn't as grateful for the blessings that I have.  I am addicted to reading erotica and romance novels. I've definitely had some impure thoughts. ;)

5. You are halfway through a first date with someone you really like. Suddenly your ex walks in and sits down at the table beside you. What do you do? It depends on which ex it is and on how this first date is going.  I'd hope that I'd be mature, nod politely, and then give my date my full attention. 

6. You are on your way to meet a billionaire. She is going to give you enough money to live on for the rest of your life IF you can answer this question correctly: Which came first the chicken or the egg?  I'd have to say the egg came first.  I'm assuming that the chicken evolved from some other fowl that laid eggs.

7. You are on your way to the sun and moon and stars for an intergalactic vacation. You crash into a rainbow. What do you find in your pot of gold?  Ooh, gold, of course, and some sexy guy with a golden tan, long flowing hair, and  . . . you can fill in the rest.

Nice Authors & The One Whose Books I'll Never Read

A little bit of a rant before I move on to better things . . .

I've met lots of truly spectacular people online.  Some of them are authors like Shawn Lane, Ava March, Devon Rhodes, and others.  These sweet ladies just seem genuinely nice.  They do promote their books online, and they should!  They've done such great work that they should get out there and let people know about it.  They deserve to have people read it.  Plus, they go about it the right way.  They make announcements in the appropriate forums.  They have giveaways on their blogs.  They aren't rude about the writings of others in their genre.  They're tactful and just genuinely nice people.  In fact, I've even seen them promote other authors' books/contests on their blogs.

 I'm sure you're wondering where the rant comes in.  I'm getting to it right now.  Those of you who know me, know that I have a Twitter account that's connected to my Goodreads account.  Both Goodreads and Twitter are great places for authors to find new readers and to interact with them.  These two sites are wonderful for authors who want to promote their books.  Certain groups have promotional threads; authors can offer books in giveaways, etc.  Yesterday, I marked a book as "to-read" at Goodreads.  It was a book that Erotic Horizon had reviewed, and I thought it sounded like it would be really good.  That "to-read" message was automatically posted to my Twitter account.  Here's where the rant comes in--An author, someone whom I don't know and who writes in a genre that I really don't read and that was not the genre of the book that I had marked, sent me a message that said, "You should totally read (insert his book) by (insert his name). It's totally better."  The nerve of him!  How dare he disparage another writer that way in order to sell his book!  Now, if he were writing a review of the book, didn't like it, and wrote a tactful review, that would be one thing, but I have a feeling that he hasn't even read the book that I had added to my TBR.   He probably thinks that his little tweet was cute.  Let me tell you, it wasn't.  So that's my rant.  I'm trying to be nice by not including this author's name, but I'll tell you that I was tempted to share it with everyone.  I definitely won't be buying any of his books.

If you want to read a book by an author who is a genuinely nice person and who knows how to do promotion the right way, then try something by one of these:

Andi Anderson
Shawn Lane
Ava March
AKM Miles
Devon Rhodes

BTW, Shawn, Devon, and others commented on this post on my Wordpress blog.  Since I decided to put that blog on hiatus, I've posted their comments below the cut. Just click "read more" at the bottom of this post to see them.

Now that I've had my little tirade, I need to make a list of positives to calm myself down a bit.

In no particular order:

1. My headache is finally going away.
2. The kitties meet me at the door every day when I come home.  I tell myself it's because they love me.  They're probably just hoping I'll be carrying food, but it still makes me happy.
3. I can watch old episodes of dorky television shows on Hulu any time I want.
4. My Christmas shopping list is coming along quite well.
5. People are really pulling together for the Angel Tree at work.  We have lots of needy kids who are going to have a nice Christmas.
   
6. The church that I went to as a child still gets together every December to deliver fruit baskets to the elderly in the community.  I know for some of those folks, that fruit basket is the only sort of Christmas gift they get.  I'm so glad that tradition continues.
7. My favorite cousin is going to have another baby!
8. Jack in the Box has egg nog milkshakes again!
   

Monday Mayhem & Some Positive Thoughts

1. What is your favorite holiday show/animated show?  I love A Charlie Brown Christmas.  I think it has a very sweet, relevant message.

2. What holiday character do you think you're most like? Gosh, this one is difficult.  I think I'm like Charlie Brown.  It get stressed trying to satisfy everyone over the holidays.

3. What holiday character does your spouse think you're most like? I don't have a spouse.

4. Favorite Christmas/holiday song? I love "Oh Come All Ye Faithful."  It reminds me of the Christmas services from when I was a child.

5. Most hated Christmas/holiday song? "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." That scenario just can't turn out well.  Either the kid learns that there is no Santa, or he winds up thinking Mommy is a 'ho.

 

6. If you have an all holiday music radio station when do you start listening to it? The week before Christmas. 

7. If you have an all holiday music radio station do you love it or hate it? I love it the week before the holiday.   If I had to listen to it every day, I'd go nuts.

8. Have you ever wrapped yourself as a Christmas/holiday present? Come on...you can tell! Nope.  I'm not wasting money on that much paper!

9. Who is Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer's father? I think it's Donner.

10. Do you drive your neighborhood or one near you at night to look at other people's holiday decorations? Sometimes I go out with friends to look at decorations, but I don't go by myself.

11. When you see a heavily decorated house do you think, 'oh that's lovely'? Or do you think, 'oh criminy, that looks like Christmas threw up all over their lawn'? It depends on the decorations.  Let's face it, some people have better taste than others.

12. Are you counting the days to Christmas/Holidays with excited anticipation or dread? A bit of both.  I hope that the gifts I pick don't disappoint anyone.  My dad usually gets angry around Christmas day and refuses to speak.  That's always tough.  I'm looking forward to seeing my nieces and nephew open their gifts, and I'm looking forward to some time to get caught up on writing for boards.

13. When was the last time you had your photo taken with Santa? Did you sit on his lap? I don't think I've ever had my photo taken with Santa.  There wasn't much opportunity where I grew up.

14. Do you make a Christmas/Holiday list for your spouse or significant other or do you rely on them to pick your gift(s) without a clue from you? I haven't had a significant other in a long time, but I never made a list for one.  I don't think I'd do that unless the person let me know he really needed a list.

15. When do you put up your tree and/or menorah/and or anything else? I know this is awful, but I don't decorate.  It's just me in my  apartment, and I don't see the need for just me.  Plus, the cats would probably destroy the tree.

16. If tree- Real or fake? Growing up, we always had a real tree. 

17. When do you take your tree/decorations down? When I was a kid, we always took them down the day after Christmas.

18. Do you shop the day after Christmas sales? What do you shop for? I usually take my mom shopping on that day.  My dad isn't good a being patient, and he won't let her go by herself.  I look for things that I can use with my students.

19. Is your work/office having a holiday party this year? Will you attend? We always have a faculty get together.  It's sort of mandatory, but I don't mind it.  It's always very sedate since we have it in the school cafeteria.

20. Do you have your New Year's Eve Plans set yet? I may be going to a New Year's Eve party with M.  Now that he doesn't have a partner, he said that he may want to go to a party thrown by some people to whom he hasn't come out.  If that's the case, then I'll be his date.  If not, then I plan on staying home and snuggling with the kitties.

Today's happy thoughts/blessings:

1. My students are really enjoying the new book we're reading.  I think many of them can relate to the main character.
2. I've gotten a job doing some tutoring.  I'll have some extra Christmas money now.
3. One of my students actually knew that today is Pearl Harbor Day! 
   
4. A coworker brought in brownies for everyone this morning.  Yummy!
5. People continue to amaze me with small, yet significant, acts of kindness.
   

Unsconcious Mutterings #358 & Other Things on My Mind

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Hotter :: Colder
   
2. Negotiator :: Mediator
   
3. Crimson :: Tide
   
4. Loses :: Fails
   
5. Tide :: Laundry
   
6. Alan :: Parsons
   
7. Fool :: On the Hill
   
8. Pink :: Petunia
   
9. Palm :: Sunday
   
10. Lipstick :: Smudges

-----------------------------------

What's on my mind today . . .

I've spent some time playing around on the Internet today, but I've also spent a lot of time just doing nothing.  I've been fighting a horrid headache, the kind that makes it difficult to do anything.  Hopefully, it'll be gone by tomorrow.  It's hard to teach when I feel like this.  There's too much noise, the lights are too bright, and it's like everything the students do gets amplified. 

I know what started it.  I didn't sleep well last night.  I woke up worrying about some things that I have to get done soon.  I couldn't get back to sleep.  That gave me time to worry about other things like my friend K.O.  She, apparently, isn't speaking to me because I kept a secret from her.  It wasn't my secret to tell; Lucy asked me not to so I couldn't tell anyone.  Plus, it had absolutely nothing to do with K.O.  Lucy was dating K.O.'s brother-in-law whom K.O. doesn't like.  He wanted to keep their relationship quiet because his family can be pretty intrusive.  He didn't even want her to tell me about it, but she told him she'd keep it from other people as long as she could tell me.  Anyway, K.O. found out about it from someone who had seen Lucy and the guy at a restaurant.  When she asked me about it, I told her that I couldn't confirm or deny.  She'd just have to ask her brother-in-law if she was curious. 

I just don't see that I've done anything wrong.  It wasn't my secret to tell.  As I said before, it really didn't have anything to do with K.O. other than the fact that the guy is related to her.  Lucy and K.O. aren't close friends.  If K.O. had a secret that she didn't want me to tell anyone, I wouldn't have shared it with Lucy.  This has me really torn up.  I love K.O., her husband, and their children.  I've been a surrogate aunt to those girls since they were babies, and now I don't get to see them at all.  It really hurts.

Trying for some happy thoughts is difficult today.  Just thinking is difficult today, but I'm going to do my best.

1. I'm thankful for Advil.  Really.
2. I'm grateful for my warm quilt and my snuggly kitty on this cold, cold day.
3. My mom had a good time at the party she went to last night.  I'm happy that she got out of the house.
4. I'm teaching some of my favorite literature this week.

I hope everyone out there is having a great Sunday.

Sunday Stealing

Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Nope.  My little niece is all about giving sugar.

When is it hard to kiss someone? When I'm angry . . .

You're trapped in a room with your most recent ex for three days, what do you do? Do I have rope and a gag?  If so, I'd tie him up and let him know what I think about him.

Does it matter to you if your significant other smokes? Yes.  I was in the room with my grandfather when he died from lung cancer.  I don't want to have to watch someone I love go through that again.

Have you ever regretted letting someone go? Yes, hasn't everyone?

Where would you go if you were butt naked and locked out of your house? I'd hide behind the big bush outside and wait for a neighbor to come out.  Then, I'd beg and plead for him/her to call my BFF to come rescue me.

Do you want to please everyone? That's something I struggle with.  I've always been insecure and tried really hard to make people like me, but I've realized that I can't compromise about some of my most firmly held beliefs.  As I've matured, I've had to accept that you can't please everybody and still be true to yourself.

Have you ever been called heartless? I'm sure I've had some students who called me worse than that when they didn't like the grades that they earned.

Someone calls you at 3:00 AM, who do you expect it to be? My parents or Lucy, and it would be an emergency.  No one I know would call that late unless something terrible has happened.

Does it matter if your significant other drinks? I wouldn't mind him having a drink every now and then, but I'd hope he'd be respectful of my family and not drink in front of them.

Could you go the rest of your life without doing drugs? If you mean illegal drugs, then sure I could.  I've gone 33 years without doing them, so I don't think I'd have any trouble keeping away from them.

Which is better, amazing eyes or an amazing smile? Definitely amazing eyes.

Do you want to get married and have children one day? This one is hard.  I would like to get married (maybe), but I haven't met anyone whom I trust enough to go into that sort of commitment.  I've watched my mom and dad, as well as friends, struggle in their marriages.  For some of them, it's obviously worth it. For others, the relationships are toxic.  I know my parents aren't really happy.  My father gets angry and stays angry for weeks.  He'll go a month at a time without speaking to my mom.  Sometimes I think they stay together simply because they don't think they have any options.  I have friends whose relationships have their ups and downs, but they are truly loving and committed relationships.  I'd like to have that with someone some day, but I haven't met that someone yet.  When it comes to children, that's even more difficult.  I work with kids, and I love them.  When I was a teenager, I used to think about what my family would be like, and I always imagined having a daughter.  I even made a list of names. Later on, I learned that having children would be very difficult, if not impossible, for me.  So, I've had to come to terms with that and accept that it probably isn't an option.  If I were married, I might consider adoption.  I see kids every day who need good homes.

Are you easy to get along with? I think I am.  I try really hard to not be "high maintenance."  I do my best to keep from hurting other people's feelings, and I try to be helpful.

Do you ever want to go to sleep and not wake up? Honestly, yes.  I think almost everyone has those thoughts at one point. I've always struggled with depression and anxiety.

Are you shorter than your Mom? Nope, I'm the taller one.

Describe your life currently in one word: hectic

Are you on medication for anything? This meme has really gotten into TMI territory, but since I've already revealed so much, I might as well be honest and say yes.  I take medication daily for depression and anxiety.

Who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? No one.

Are there things in your life that you will never be able to get over? I'd like to say no to this one, but I think we all have events in our lives that have helped to shape us in both good ways and bad ways.  Of those negatives, I'd like to think I've overcome some of them, but I know that there are issues that I still have to deal with.  I don't know if I can ever completely get over some things.

If you woke up naked next to the last person you kissed, what would your reaction be? WTF?!?!  How did I wind up naked in my sister's house?!?!

Got Mistletoe by Andi Anderson Plus Silver & Gold by Devon Rhodes

Got Mistletoe? by Andi Anderson


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
With this first story, Andi Anderson has proven that she will be an auto-buy for me. Ryan and Blake are absolutely wonderful people, and it was a pleasure to see them meet and fall for each other. Ryan is bubbly and impish. Blake is caring and conscientious. I couldn't help but like them. This really is a jolly read.

I do have one complaint, and I hope it's an issue that Andi will correct as quickly as possible. You see, she's created a couple whom I really adore, and there isn't a sequel yet. I'm hoping, hinting, keeping my fingers crossed, that it won't be too long before I can get a glimpse into Ryan and Blake's future. I know it has to be fabulous. If Andi hasn't planned to write a sequel, then I hope everyone who enjoys these guys as much as I do will join me in begging her to continue this couple's story.

View all my reviews >>

Silver & Gold by Devon Rhodes


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Geoff has recently gone through a divorce and is surprised when he hears from Jesse, his first love. Years ago, Jesse left him for someone else, and since then, Geoff hasn't been with another man. Now, with this renewed contact, Geoff worries about seeing Jesse again now that he's older. Abe Golden, a colorist, refuses to dye Geoff's silver-tipped hair. Instead, he asks Geoff out, and the two begin a tentative relationship. Geoff will have to decide whether he wants to return to his past or make a future with Abe.

I like May-December stories, and this one is going on the list as one of my favorites. It isn't a long story. It's only around 70 pages, but Rhodes does a great job conveying Geoff's insecurities and Abe's concerns. I hope that we will get to see these two again in another story. I'd love to see how their future unfolds.

View all my reviews >>

Unconscious Mutterings #357 & A Pretty Good Day

From Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. MacGyver :: Clever
   
2. Garter :: Snake
   
3. Wedge :: Lettuce
   
4. Inches :: Matter
   
5. Code :: Word
   
6. Water :: Sports
   
7. Running :: Man
   
8. Curly :: Girly
   
9. Turkey :: Sandwich
   
10. Stupor :: Exhaustion

--------------

I've spent my Saturday just as I planned--reading and napping.  It's been great.  I probably should have done some chores, but I didn't.  Oh well, I'll get to them tomorrow.



Happy thoughts:

1. We didn't get snow or ice!  I don't like if I have to drive in it.  I really didn't have to go anywhere today, so it wouldn't have been an inconvenience to me.  However, Lucy had to go out of town, and I would have been really worried for her safety.  Thankfully, the temperature stayed around 40 degrees, and the rain eventually ended.
2. My school's basketball team valiantly defeated our bitterest rivals last night!  I was going to come straight home after work to take a nap, but one of my students (a JV player) asked me to come watch her play.  I just couldn't say no.  She's the kind of kid who really needs lots of encouragement.  The JV girls lost, but they made a tremendous effort.  I wish I could have stayed for both varsity games, but I'd promised to walk a friend's dog.
   
3. My mom just called to say that she and my dad are going to a party tonight!  Yay for them!  They live in the middle of nowhere, and they never go out.  It'll be good for them both.
4. As soon as I post this, I'm going to finish reading Got Mistletoe? My buddies at Goodreads, especially Shayne, have raved about Ryan, and they were right.  He's a cutie.  I love that he's a redheaded imp! I can already tell that I'm going to devour anything that Andi Anderson writes.